Most writers have a success fantasy. (Go ahead. Think of yours.) It typically involves words like bestseller, Pulitzer, powerhouse agent, author tour, TV appearances, etc. And, of course, book deal. In my twenties, I’d imagined getting a book deal, dreaming of the day a powerhouse agent would call to tell me that she was two-thirds of the way through my manuscript and loved it and didn’t want me to talk to any other agent until she could finish reading and discuss representation with me. In true want-to-be-a-writer fashion, I hadn’t even written a book yet.
Strangely enough, this is something I do naturally, just to appease myself. I’m that child that wouldn’t do things for fear of failing. Like not even step out my door! When you are programmed like that, you set a very simple bar to achieve and condition yourself to be satisfied you DID IT! Everything else is gravy.
So it’s not the same for all of us— I believe it could be related to our star sign, actually, as well 😉 ✨💫
BTW reading about the advance was incredibly valuable. Thank you for sharing this!
When you wrote about goals, I noticed mine wasn’t on your list. It’s to help this hurting world. If I were was okay about being thought of as megalomaniacal, I’d even say, ”to save this hurting world.” I have this fantasy that after I’m dead I will be discovered. It will create what we all yearn for where we come to our senses to create a world where we care about each other as much as we care about ourselves. It’s actually the natural way, but we are far gone into what Isn’t natural except in the way progress happens where we tack wrong before we right ourselves. If I have intrigued you enough to investigate, look at “INSIDE THE INTELLIGENCE: Mapping the Path to Oneness: https://mightycompanions.org/suzanne/inside-the-intelligence/INSIDE-THE-INTELLIGENCE.pdf
What a wonderful (and real) post to share with all of us wanna-bees. I love the gentle yet honest way you share what your thoughts were back then. Goals are tricky little bastards if we don’t know what the process is that feels good to us.
I think what I am most looking forward to is having my name on the spine of the book as it joins my library of other books. And that it helps those who read it. The gravy would be if I also am paid some for it, tho I don’t have a figure in mind.
Great post! I received a 6-figure book deal in my twenties - plus achieved all my other goals by the time I was 30. I didn't feel happy. I didn't feel successful. I recently read a great book by Emma Gannon called The Success Myth, which deals with what success really means and is (and also touches on the hedonic fallacy and the arrival myth, but she doesn't call them that). Thanks for sharing, Sarah.
Since discovering Sarah Fay and Writers at Work, I’ve taken the plunge into serializing my novel, and my life has changed in unexpected ways. I’m from LA, but the novel I’m writing is inspired by a summer I spent working in the English Cotswolds decades ago during college. I’m well into the writing of it, which I’ve been doing from memory, and had no plans to return to the scene anytime soon. But that all changed three weeks ago after subscribing to Writers at Work and publishing my first installment. Everything about the writing process has become more immediate. And lo and behold, just like that, I’m back in the Cotswolds — literally — where I’ve been re-visiting the locations that still haunt me, while discovering new places and making new friends. More significantly, the journey has given me a new perspective on the eighteen year old boy I once was. Writing on Substack has already changed my life in ways that have nothing to do with subscribers, likes, publishers, or book deals.
Sarah, I am glad Substack shared this out, it's very well stated and quite provocative. As a published author, I might say that I have a different take, partly as I've never enjoyed the real big six-figure deal.
I have never had, and still do not, a single commercial goal for a project, let alone a life, but I think it's important at certain points to pause and appreciate. Did one's manuscript feel good/right when finished? Pause and celebrate that. Did an agent agree? Pause and celebrate that as well. Did it find a home with a publisher? That is a victory of itself. Savor it. Did it make to publication? Enjoy every moment of every little bit of attention it gets... because that might be it. It might not get great reviews, it might not sell, but it got this far and that is a hell of an achievement. So celebrate each of those victories... they may never come to pass again and you wouldn't want to look back on all of them as missed opportunities.
Wow. So much wisdom and insight here. I have no idea how book deals or agents or publishing works. None. So setting a goal of having a bestseller is almost laughable to me. However, I can set one manageable goal as you suggest. I’ll be experimenting with writing different styles and types of essays. Honing in on the personal, opinion, and narrative. With the goal of mastering each style and figuring out which one suits me best. I love substack for allowing us to experiment with our writing and creative styles. As always your advice is most helpful.
Thank you for your vulnerability in this piece. The comments section shows that you are not alone in feeling this way. The empty feeling/disappointment when you received the book deal from the less prestigious publishing house shows how draining it is when we link our worth and identity with our accomplishments. I don't know how people pursue the path of writing (or any creative endeavor) without faith in Jesus. He offers freedom from the constant need to seek the validation from outside sources as proof that our stories are worth sharing with others.
Usually, with something like this, I'd scroll through the comments and read what others are saying in the hopes of not repeating something and making everything redundant. So here goes. I've made the odd comment here or there about this and that. Last year, when I was about five months in, I started a NaNoWriMo project just to get me started. I hadn't been in a doldrum, or a slump, but had been recovering from trauma. The stories I'd put up were old stories I had laying around in different files. I cleaned them up and put them on my 'Stack because I needed to do something.
So I did; I retired.
My dreams have always been writing dreams. I wrote because I was able to. My parents gave me the year off when I graduated from high school. They sat me down and asked me what I wanted to do with my life. It sounds like a dumb question when you put it like that: what do you want to do with the rest of your life? But my father had the very same question after the War. Only he'd served in the Dutch Army; his War was a little bit different. He'd locked himself in his room for five days wondering just that very thing. I told him I wanted to be a writer. They both looked at me and nodded. He said I could have a year to write. There were no university/college courses to speak of back then. But I was going to be a poet. My dream at that time, was that I wanted to write a poem that could compare to Goldsmith's THE DESERTED VILLAGE, a play like his SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER and a book like his VICAR OF WAKEFIELD. There were no real dreams of financial success. With the year off, I wrote my poetry. But I needed more than that. So I turned the poem into a novel, written in ballad, and based on Robin Hood. I came up with a 150 page ms. I had it published by a Vanity Press because I didn't know any better. Things sort of fell apart, I got married, had kids, bought a house, and my writing got put on the back burner.
I started writing an epic when I was 28. Roman history, New Testament Acts, Tacitus. It was long. Way too long. I called it my apprenticeship and wrote and researched for ten years. And then I stopped writing because life got in the way, like it does. My father died.
When I did get back to writing, I didn't want to look at that stack of pages and so I put it away. I'll get to it when I retire, I told myself. It'll be my Magnum Opus. A goal. So I started writing short stories. And they were bad. But I kept on writing them, and reading them: Alice Munro was my go-to girl. I started sending stories out, and the rejections mounted. And then there was the Internet. Life changed. I knew nothing about computers. I didn't work in an office. I couldn't type more than 20 words a minute. But I always had my goals, and they were never money. I wanted to conquer things. I wanted to get published, and said I wouldn't cut my hair until I did. (Probably a mid-life crisis.) It got pretty long. I got published, but it was one of those online 'zines that don't pay. Didn't matter. I got what I wanted. I've never made a dime writing. It didn't matter because I had a high paying job in a mill. I couldn't afford to take the time off and go to school. Things were always tight. And then they weren't, and we discovered travel.
So when Substack came along I thought it was the answer to all my dreams. Nobody was going to take my stories. I knew they were too long. But with Substack, I could put them up myself. I didn't know much about marketing, but Substack helped with that, too. So my goals now are long term goals. I want to see where I can take this. I want to see how far I can go. I worked for 45 years in my other job; raised a family; did everything I did, for everyone, because that's what adults do.
These next 20 years are for me. That's my goal. Can I make this a bestselling site? I was reading Lenny's newsletter and he has 500,000 followers! Substack has millions of subscribers (30-35 million). It doesn't seem that ridiculous anymore...and I just might be able to make a living doing this. That wouldn't be so bad for someone who's not expecting much.
I feel fortunate to have known a published author and teacher whom I respect immensely. She took one look at the first draft of my memoir and delicately told me it was incoherent gobbledygook. (My words, not hers) It was. I had a lot of work to do. But, I had a big pile of gobbledygook to draw from, and that’s where the more challenging work started. I love my gobbledygook. I visit it weekly like a deranged uncle who tells absurd stories that mostly make sense, if you squint hard enough and ignore the tangential gibberish. There’s gold in there. I just know it.
What brave, honest writing. Thank you!
Strangely enough, this is something I do naturally, just to appease myself. I’m that child that wouldn’t do things for fear of failing. Like not even step out my door! When you are programmed like that, you set a very simple bar to achieve and condition yourself to be satisfied you DID IT! Everything else is gravy.
So it’s not the same for all of us— I believe it could be related to our star sign, actually, as well 😉 ✨💫
BTW reading about the advance was incredibly valuable. Thank you for sharing this!
When you wrote about goals, I noticed mine wasn’t on your list. It’s to help this hurting world. If I were was okay about being thought of as megalomaniacal, I’d even say, ”to save this hurting world.” I have this fantasy that after I’m dead I will be discovered. It will create what we all yearn for where we come to our senses to create a world where we care about each other as much as we care about ourselves. It’s actually the natural way, but we are far gone into what Isn’t natural except in the way progress happens where we tack wrong before we right ourselves. If I have intrigued you enough to investigate, look at “INSIDE THE INTELLIGENCE: Mapping the Path to Oneness: https://mightycompanions.org/suzanne/inside-the-intelligence/INSIDE-THE-INTELLIGENCE.pdf
What a wonderful (and real) post to share with all of us wanna-bees. I love the gentle yet honest way you share what your thoughts were back then. Goals are tricky little bastards if we don’t know what the process is that feels good to us.
I think what I am most looking forward to is having my name on the spine of the book as it joins my library of other books. And that it helps those who read it. The gravy would be if I also am paid some for it, tho I don’t have a figure in mind.
Great post! I received a 6-figure book deal in my twenties - plus achieved all my other goals by the time I was 30. I didn't feel happy. I didn't feel successful. I recently read a great book by Emma Gannon called The Success Myth, which deals with what success really means and is (and also touches on the hedonic fallacy and the arrival myth, but she doesn't call them that). Thanks for sharing, Sarah.
Wow. Isn’t that amazing that we can feel that way?
Thank you! I needed this!!
So glad!
Since discovering Sarah Fay and Writers at Work, I’ve taken the plunge into serializing my novel, and my life has changed in unexpected ways. I’m from LA, but the novel I’m writing is inspired by a summer I spent working in the English Cotswolds decades ago during college. I’m well into the writing of it, which I’ve been doing from memory, and had no plans to return to the scene anytime soon. But that all changed three weeks ago after subscribing to Writers at Work and publishing my first installment. Everything about the writing process has become more immediate. And lo and behold, just like that, I’m back in the Cotswolds — literally — where I’ve been re-visiting the locations that still haunt me, while discovering new places and making new friends. More significantly, the journey has given me a new perspective on the eighteen year old boy I once was. Writing on Substack has already changed my life in ways that have nothing to do with subscribers, likes, publishers, or book deals.
Cheers,
Jack Fitzgerald
The Summer We Said Goodbye
Yay! Fantastic.
Sarah, I am glad Substack shared this out, it's very well stated and quite provocative. As a published author, I might say that I have a different take, partly as I've never enjoyed the real big six-figure deal.
I have never had, and still do not, a single commercial goal for a project, let alone a life, but I think it's important at certain points to pause and appreciate. Did one's manuscript feel good/right when finished? Pause and celebrate that. Did an agent agree? Pause and celebrate that as well. Did it find a home with a publisher? That is a victory of itself. Savor it. Did it make to publication? Enjoy every moment of every little bit of attention it gets... because that might be it. It might not get great reviews, it might not sell, but it got this far and that is a hell of an achievement. So celebrate each of those victories... they may never come to pass again and you wouldn't want to look back on all of them as missed opportunities.
Thanks once more,
Tony
You’re so welcome. And your view is perfect.
Wow. So much wisdom and insight here. I have no idea how book deals or agents or publishing works. None. So setting a goal of having a bestseller is almost laughable to me. However, I can set one manageable goal as you suggest. I’ll be experimenting with writing different styles and types of essays. Honing in on the personal, opinion, and narrative. With the goal of mastering each style and figuring out which one suits me best. I love substack for allowing us to experiment with our writing and creative styles. As always your advice is most helpful.
I'm so glad it's helpful.
Love this!
Loved reading about your experience Sarah. A great cautionary tale. Thank you!
Hi Sarah!
Thank you for your vulnerability in this piece. The comments section shows that you are not alone in feeling this way. The empty feeling/disappointment when you received the book deal from the less prestigious publishing house shows how draining it is when we link our worth and identity with our accomplishments. I don't know how people pursue the path of writing (or any creative endeavor) without faith in Jesus. He offers freedom from the constant need to seek the validation from outside sources as proof that our stories are worth sharing with others.
Usually, with something like this, I'd scroll through the comments and read what others are saying in the hopes of not repeating something and making everything redundant. So here goes. I've made the odd comment here or there about this and that. Last year, when I was about five months in, I started a NaNoWriMo project just to get me started. I hadn't been in a doldrum, or a slump, but had been recovering from trauma. The stories I'd put up were old stories I had laying around in different files. I cleaned them up and put them on my 'Stack because I needed to do something.
So I did; I retired.
My dreams have always been writing dreams. I wrote because I was able to. My parents gave me the year off when I graduated from high school. They sat me down and asked me what I wanted to do with my life. It sounds like a dumb question when you put it like that: what do you want to do with the rest of your life? But my father had the very same question after the War. Only he'd served in the Dutch Army; his War was a little bit different. He'd locked himself in his room for five days wondering just that very thing. I told him I wanted to be a writer. They both looked at me and nodded. He said I could have a year to write. There were no university/college courses to speak of back then. But I was going to be a poet. My dream at that time, was that I wanted to write a poem that could compare to Goldsmith's THE DESERTED VILLAGE, a play like his SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER and a book like his VICAR OF WAKEFIELD. There were no real dreams of financial success. With the year off, I wrote my poetry. But I needed more than that. So I turned the poem into a novel, written in ballad, and based on Robin Hood. I came up with a 150 page ms. I had it published by a Vanity Press because I didn't know any better. Things sort of fell apart, I got married, had kids, bought a house, and my writing got put on the back burner.
I started writing an epic when I was 28. Roman history, New Testament Acts, Tacitus. It was long. Way too long. I called it my apprenticeship and wrote and researched for ten years. And then I stopped writing because life got in the way, like it does. My father died.
When I did get back to writing, I didn't want to look at that stack of pages and so I put it away. I'll get to it when I retire, I told myself. It'll be my Magnum Opus. A goal. So I started writing short stories. And they were bad. But I kept on writing them, and reading them: Alice Munro was my go-to girl. I started sending stories out, and the rejections mounted. And then there was the Internet. Life changed. I knew nothing about computers. I didn't work in an office. I couldn't type more than 20 words a minute. But I always had my goals, and they were never money. I wanted to conquer things. I wanted to get published, and said I wouldn't cut my hair until I did. (Probably a mid-life crisis.) It got pretty long. I got published, but it was one of those online 'zines that don't pay. Didn't matter. I got what I wanted. I've never made a dime writing. It didn't matter because I had a high paying job in a mill. I couldn't afford to take the time off and go to school. Things were always tight. And then they weren't, and we discovered travel.
So when Substack came along I thought it was the answer to all my dreams. Nobody was going to take my stories. I knew they were too long. But with Substack, I could put them up myself. I didn't know much about marketing, but Substack helped with that, too. So my goals now are long term goals. I want to see where I can take this. I want to see how far I can go. I worked for 45 years in my other job; raised a family; did everything I did, for everyone, because that's what adults do.
These next 20 years are for me. That's my goal. Can I make this a bestselling site? I was reading Lenny's newsletter and he has 500,000 followers! Substack has millions of subscribers (30-35 million). It doesn't seem that ridiculous anymore...and I just might be able to make a living doing this. That wouldn't be so bad for someone who's not expecting much.
Go to it!
I've seen what instant fame does to people, and I've wanted something much simpler.
I've wanted to write a novel, or a series that might be as good as something that Tolkien would write.
I've never asked for great fame, or mega-fortune, but I've wanted to write something that was better than some of the stuff I've seen out there.
I would be perfectly happy if the same 200 or 300 people would buy my books.
I don't want to be a Steven King, or Martin. I just want to write for a select group of people.
I love that you're so clear about it.
Really helpful. Thank you!
I'm so glad!
I feel fortunate to have known a published author and teacher whom I respect immensely. She took one look at the first draft of my memoir and delicately told me it was incoherent gobbledygook. (My words, not hers) It was. I had a lot of work to do. But, I had a big pile of gobbledygook to draw from, and that’s where the more challenging work started. I love my gobbledygook. I visit it weekly like a deranged uncle who tells absurd stories that mostly make sense, if you squint hard enough and ignore the tangential gibberish. There’s gold in there. I just know it.
Go to it! The only failure is stopping.